In my first job I so loved being part of something exciting and important that I worked 7 days a week for over a year. I then spent almost 20 years working in high paced corporate consulting so I know a thing or two about work life balance – when I had it and when I hadn’t. When I am coaching clients on work life balance I always use the following principles to guide our work:-

The first is that work life balance means different things to different people, there is no one size work life balance, so it is your responsibility to plan your life with your work and life priorities, while employers are interested in the wellness of their staff (usually and mostly) on a macro level, on a micro level they will expect that you plan and run your own life so It’s Up To You.

Secondly, you shouldn’t measure work life balance on a daily or weekly basis as there will always be busy periods in work when it is all shoulders to the wheel, project deadlines, month ends etc . Work life Balance is something you should work to achieve in general over a period of weeks rather than smaller time chunks. This isn’t bad remember, those busy periods at work are part of what gives us a thrill and a purpose in life, being part of a team, achieving milestones, getting a good result. As long as these periods aren’t unending then they are part of what meets our desire for growth and helps develop a healthy stress challenge response.

Thirdly, you should always schedule some predictable down time, even in intensely busy periods. Some time to switch off, eat well, take some exercise and get decent sleep will help you perform better, concentration, memory and learning are better and mood is better so that we bring our best selves to work, perform at our best and don’t snap at work colleagues or loved ones.

With those principles in mind here are my top tips

1)     Use the rocks, stones in the glass analogy to plan your week (The glass fills best if you put rocks in first, followed by stones, sand, followed by water, the other way round and nothing fits!)

a)      The ‘big rocks’ are the essentials - Work, Sleep, Family, Health (Gym, Walks, etc ) plus the stones are the unusual urgent items for the week like a report which is due or family responsibilities. Plan the schedule, put the stuff in the diary. If you don’t plan your life, someone else will do it for you.

b)     The ‘sand’ items are the important ‘other’ stuff – Hobbies, Learning, Social evenings with loved ones.  You should aim to have something in the diary each week for one of these at least. This is the stuff that sometimes doesn’t happen on busy weeks but looking back over a few weeks there should be some of this. Having things to look forward to, makes it easier to get through a tough busy period.

c)      The ‘Water’ items are the least important stuff but often the things which we get stuck into for hours wasting some of our precious time, These are TV, Social Media etc. I get that we can relax with these things and enjoy TV, browsing the internet but its easy to get sucked down the rabbit hole and end up having spent an hour on line when all you wanted to do was order groceries.

2)     Start the day properly. When you wake up, unless you are in the middle of the most urgent work crisis ever, don’t check your email, get or pack up breakfast and make your way to work.

3)     Make a plan for what needs to be done that day, what are the urgent and important items to be done. Stuff can come along which changes it, but part of a good work practice is to have this as a base for the working day, negotiate on what might be moved if something else has to be added to the list.

4)     Spend a few minutes saying hello to people, being part of a team and connecting with people feels good, helps us feel happy at work but the science behind this is that doing so, releases the hormone oxytocin which attaches to receptor cells in our heart and is protective for it during stressful times.

5)     Unless your work is driven by your inbox, then you should schedule a time for checking email rather than diving straight into it. Doing this means you focus on your to do list and not someone else’s to do list.

6)     Having a sedentary job even while being a regular exerciser can still impact our health and wellness so aim to increase your movement as much as possible, get up and fill your water bottle every half an hour, stand during periods of meetings, have walking meetings if in small groups, the obvious like take the stairs. Working across time zones meant I spent a lot of time on conference calls so don a good headset and walk during these calls.

A final note on work is that for a lot of us our work contributes to our sense of purpose in life, it is aligned with our talents and helps us grow. I get asked what to do if you don’t like your job and it doesn’t help you feel fulfilled what can you do? I have found that it is useful to focus on what your job does afford you, while you look for another if that is possible. Does your job help put food on the table, help you save towards holidays, save towards a training course so that you can move into something else? Bring a reminder of what this is, to your work so that when times are a bit tough, this will remind you of why you do what you do, a shell for your desk, a picture of your family, something to bring your life into your work.

I will give the last word to the realistic acceptance than we are busier and busier than ever and in this world of smart technology there is a huge expectation to be always on late at night or just checking emails when on holidays. You will need to make your own decisions about whether you are willing to do this but the long term impact of this is that we never truly rest properly or get a proper holiday. There may come a time when the expectations of the organisation you work for and your own personal boundaries no longer align and that may be when the decision needs to be made about whether you want a future in that organisation.