Find your WHY

Clearly my brain had been working away in the background without me really being aware of it, but it wasn’t until I woke up one morning thinking ‘Oh my God, what am I doing’ that I knew I was ready to give up cigarettes, that it was no longer something that for a very long time I had considered an essential part of me. Hell, this was something I had continued to do despite watching our darling mum die for a smoking related disease. I didn’t need anyone to tell me how bad cigarettes were for me yet nothing had clicked and I still hadn’t been ready. This, I think, is at the heart of why so many efforts at improving our health and wellness fail, because people start something knowing intellectually that it is the right thing to do, but don’t really know why they want to make the change – what on a personal, visceral level will making these changes mean for them. Without this, motivation doesn’t exist, it fails at the first hurdle. Thankfully for me, this is more than 15 years ago, and I am pleased to say I have never looked back apart from the odd joke that I am going back on them when I’m 70.  

It’s all well and good to tell people to find their ‘motivation’, ‘Just get Started’ , ‘Make a change’ but if it were as simple as all that then there wouldn’t be anyone overweight, unfit, still smoking or drinking too much or any other unhealthy lifestyle habit but the truth is that we humans are much more complex than that and actually starting and sticking to making positive lifestyle changes needs a bit of thoughtful planning so that when times get tough AND THEY ALWAYS DO when making a worthwhile change, you can succeed and get to the point where you have made so much progress that you don’t ever go back to the old ways again.

So, what are some practical strategies to help you do this? You want to make changes – improve your lifestyle, your health, weight, activity levels, sleep or stress?, chances are you might have tried before and you know, you did well for a while but after a few weeks when the novelty of the idea of making changes wore off perhaps you slipped back to old ways when things got busy at work or the kids got sick or you went on holidays and went completely off the rails…. We have all been there, so what are the best strategies for planning making and sticking to the lifestyle improvements you want to make so that you can feel better, be better, sleep better and feel happier. Here are my top tips for finding what is your own personal motivation for making changes and how to use that to keep going when the going gets a bit hard.

1)     Write out what improvements to your life do you want to make? Keep it simple, don’t overload yourself with loads of goals.

2)     What will this mean for you – what is the vision of how your life is going to be when you have made these changes?

·        I want to be fit so I can ..

·        I want to give up smoking so I can …. 

·        I want to lose a stone so I can …

Apart from giving up smoking all those years ago, I also fundamentally changed how fitness is incorporated into my life, I was always sporty but not that committed to regular exercise. My ‘Why’ for staying fit and continuing to eat well is that I became a mother at a late age and I want to stay as healthy as I can for her, I hope to see her graduate, find a partner, perhaps have kids. I want all that, and that is my WHY for doing all I can to be fit and healthy. As someone who went through the shock and tremendous grief of losing my 1st husband from sudden death, I want to do my utmost that I will live as long and as healthy as I can. ….  My WHY for giving up smoking was much simpler, I don’t want to die as young as my Mum did ☹.

3)     Are you ready to make your change - do you feel it in the pit of your belly? Yes? Fantastic, but what if it is no?

This is key – someone recently asked me in a coaching session, How can I get ready, if I am honest with myself I’m don’t want to do this yet.  It is much better to be honest with yourself rather than start and fail because your self efficacy can get beaten down by previous failed attempts, but here is what you can do if you have failed before or feel you aren’t ready.

·        Think about when you failed before and note some lessons you can learn from that. Failure isn’t as simple as failure but an opportunity to learn.

·        Prepare yourself for becoming ready by gathering information on all the benefits you will feel and see when you make the changes. This is an important part of making a change – change won’t stick unless you are committed to making your change. Motivation comes from wanting something, knowing why you want it, what it will mean for you and being ready to work for it. Wanting something but not yet being ready to make the change is ok, persevere with your research, writing and exploring what making this change will mean for you until you know you are ready

4)     Make a Plan

·        What do I want? What will I do to achieve it – list the steps, When will I do it , Who will I ask for support from? What will I do if work gets crazy?, if I get sick or the kids get sick?, how will I prepare for parties or big events?

·        How will I track it (Use an App / put it in your Diary or on a sheet on the fridge)

When you make the plan, explore what makes you tick – do you need to do this with the support of people who can help you be accountable, how do you respond to goals – are you a self-starter, do you like to just get on with it, do you like a few people to help you. Thinking about this will help you make a plan which will work for you.

5)     Stick your goals and your WHY somewhere you will see it. Make sure you put it somewhere you can see it clearly whether inside your diary or on your mirror for example.

When you have done this preparation (and it doesn’t have to be a massive exercise) just spend ½ hour doing this and you will be amazed at how ready you will be to start. Get going and make sure you celebrate success as you start to achieve your goals. When the going gets tough, pull out your piece of paper with your WHY on it and remind yourself why you are doing this. This is what will keep you going – this is your personal motivation prescription, your WHY for making these changes.

Best of luck 😊, Grainne x